Marriage is so much more than "I love you."

For the first time ever, I feel like I've gotten this thing right... I've not only met the man FOR ME, but I'm not second-guessing it. This is TRULY an epiphany. As I bask in the glory of being newly 30~ and console myself for being newly 30~ I have come to a point in my life of reflection. I think about the ways in which I chose love 10 years ago to the ways that I choose to love now. Dating in my early 20's was ALL about how I FELT. If I FELT love - dammit it was LOVE! LOL! But dating in my late 20's was a bit different..... I was changing, and my 'LOVER' at the time was not.... I was a totally different person from when we met until the time we let each other go. And although it hurt, we had to let go. I almost automatically came to an understanding that love was not just about how I FELT; But a mature love is so much more complicated and responsible than that..... It respects you, cares for you, takes care OF you, is available at all times (in so many more ways than physical), and it remains stable - even when life situations become un-stable...... It is truly amazing! And I wish and pray for it - not only for my baby sister, but for EVERY SISTA looking for her soul mate.... (And no, you don't have to be 30 to have mature love.... You'll know when it comes, and YOU KNOW if the man you're with is that love or not.)

My current love came to me with intelligence, a meek and humble spirit, a caring heart, a love for God and his people, a love for family; and with a JOB! lol! He also just happened to be tall, dark, and FINE.... He is the sweetest spirit, the most caring spirit, forgiving, and OH SO CAPABLE of loving ME. He made us official on September 6th, 2009 in front of 300 of our family and loved ones; and I could re-live that day over and over again.
We met over 8 years ago, and didn't technically become a couple until 4 years ago.... We met through 2 of our mutual friends, and we became friends FIRST. If I could give just 1 piece of advice to young ladies wanting love, it would be to stop looking.... he's probably already there.....

~The love that you want is that love that listens to you, and cares about your NEEDS, feelings, and emotions.~

He proposed on one knee 365 days after he let ME pick out 'THE RING'. He told me in November of 2008 that he wanted to go ring shopping... we did. I picked out the ring, and had NO CLUE when I would ever see her again...... Although it took a year to get her back, it was well worth the wait. Ten months later we had a beautiful wedding - with all of the bells and whistles that you can imagine. There was cake, African dancing from the Muntu Dance Theater, big flowers, lighting, camera crews, bells, confetti, candles, feathers, and I could go on and on about all the things that I loved about that day...... but I won't bore you. However, let me just say that this day will get OLD to others (as I KNOW people get tired of me pulling out my pictures and playing the DVD), but it will ALWAYS be cherished by the bride..... It's a special day that means SO much, and it is more than worth the years of waiting for it. It's even more special when it's with THE RIGHT ONE.


It wouldn't be much without having a good man standing next to you though. The man standing next to you on that big day should be so much more than your 'LOVER'. AND he should be so much more than a good feeling ('This feels right in my spirit'). This man; this Husband; should be your friend, confidant, and support..... and you should feel confident walking down that aisle (looking pretty and feeling beautiful) knowing that you've made the best decision - not just because you FEEL like you want to be married - but because you know that this is the person that will be your 'HOMEY' for life! And that through thick and thin, better and worse, rich and poor - HE WILL BE THERE. (Like Jesus!!... Yes, it is so spiritual. lol!) You should be confidant in your heart that this man will give his last for you (like his last name), share with you (his cash flow), respect you (not cheat on, or put his hands on you), encourage you (let you live out your ambitions, and push you to be your best), and make you FEEL safe and secure (he WISH a 'mutha-fo' WOULD step wrong to his wife!).... in ADDITION to being your lover. There are so many other things to marriage besides 'I love you'. Marriage is a responsibility, and because I know what I've got - I'm willing to take him on. My lover is definitely worth it - and he makes me feel the same.

~To all brides getting ready to jump the broom - I wish you tears of happiness and joy on your wedding day.
~To all newly-wed and seasoned wives: He liked it so he put a ring on it. Keep doing you! That's what got you the ring in the first place.
~To all you single ladies looking for THE ONE - don't rush it! You have the rest of your life to be married, so try and get it right the first time. You'll thank YOURSELF for it.

Congratulations ladies! Cheers to love.